I Am (also) Canadian

“I was a lumberjack, and am a fur trader.
I have slept in an igloo, eaten blubber, and although I don’t own a dog sled, I do have a ski-doo.
I do know Jimmy and Sally, Suzie is my ex, and they’re all assholes.
I have a crooked Prime Minister, not a President; I speak neither English or French properly; and
I don’t pronounce it “about” or “a boot”; I just say “bout”.
I can proudly sew my country’s flag on my backpack, because with the taxes I pay I live out of my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, not policing, even though we got rid of our peacekeepers to buy more police,
Diversity, not assimilation (unless I go to Quebec); and that the beaver tastes like chicken and makes a nice fur coat.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch (where I sleep), and it is pronounced ”Z”, not “zed” or “zee”.
Canada is the second highest taxed landmass, the first nation of bleeding hearts, and coldest part of North America.
My name is Joe, and I am also Canadian.”