You Might be a Jedi Redneck If...
You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
-You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
-You call Yoda your Li'l green buddy.
-You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
-Your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
-You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
-You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
-That "disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans.
-You call your young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"
-Your landspeeder has a gun rack.
-You have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill.
-You use Jawas for drink holders.
-You fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other.
-Your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.
-At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
-You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing / bowling.
-Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
-You jump-start your lightsaber off a car battery.
-You got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids.
-You count B.O. as a Jedi power.
-You have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer.
-You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
-You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
-The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
-Wookies are offended by your B.O.
-You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish.
-You’ve got a stuffed womp rat from Begger's Canyon on your mantle.
-You’ve used a storm trooper helmet as a spitoon.
-You have ever used baling wire and/or duct tape to make repairs on your landspeeder.
-You feel that duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
-You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.
-You use your lightsaber as a bug zapper.
-You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
-You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
-You hear . . . "Luke, I am your father . . . and your uncle!"
-You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
-You call Yoda your Li'l green buddy.
-You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
-Your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
-You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
-You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
-That "disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans.
-You call your young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"
-Your landspeeder has a gun rack.
-You have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill.
-You use Jawas for drink holders.
-You fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other.
-Your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.
-At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
-You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing / bowling.
-Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
-You jump-start your lightsaber off a car battery.
-You got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids.
-You count B.O. as a Jedi power.
-You have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer.
-You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
-You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
-The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
-Wookies are offended by your B.O.
-You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish.
-You’ve got a stuffed womp rat from Begger's Canyon on your mantle.
-You’ve used a storm trooper helmet as a spitoon.
-You have ever used baling wire and/or duct tape to make repairs on your landspeeder.
-You feel that duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
-You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.
-You use your lightsaber as a bug zapper.
-You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
-You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
-You hear . . . "Luke, I am your father . . . and your uncle!"
posted by alsocanadian at 12:15 AM
3 Comments:
Wonderful - now my wife down the hall thinks I'm insane for loudly laughing for 2 minutes straight. VERY creative.
I found these surfin, so I guess I can take credit for creating them...you know, the collective consciousness and all that ;)
These next ones are all mine though...
The Redneck Jedi is more than just prime-time eye candy. In a culturally divided television world where viewers can pick and choose programming to fit their politics, Dixon and his goatee-sporting brethren bridge a gap in American culture: They allow blue America to stealthily embrace — and even worship — red America. As a Redneck Jedi, Dixon has no peer. It helps that he’s the only consistently interesting character on“The Walking Dead”; he’s part of a story arc blessedly light on tedious, zombie-free exposition.
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