Ok, Now I have Officially Heard It All

7-Eleven seeks to go beyond beer, jerky, cigarettes and is now serving Microwaved Male Genitalia.

MCKEESPORT McKeesport Police say they are now checking surveillance video to get a picture of the man who allegedly asked a clerk to heat up a severed male body part in a microwave at a local convenience store.

McKeesport Police say a man walked into the store, located on Fifth Avenue, and asked the clerk to use the microwave oven.

After the clerk noticed a strange smell coming from the microwave, she told police she opened the door and discovered human male genitalia wrapped in a paper towel cooking inside.

McKeesport police told KDKA the man fled with the severed body part after she made the discovery. She then called the police.

Ok, to avoid a lawsuit, I just glued two headlines together that are unrelated. The story of the microwaved penis does not mention which store the incident happened in, but WTF? I guess I can die in peace knowing that I have now heard of every possible thing that this wonderful world has to offer.

h/t to Nealenews for both stories.

Update: Ok, that didn't take long. I didn't think that story would be topped in a single day. Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat:

A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.

The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.

They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.

"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.

Lovely, just lovely!

h/t to Kerplonka for the goat story.