Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Dr. Seuss' Guide to Martin's "Address to the Nation"

Here's a little poem by a fella named Jeff Morris of the Manotick Messenger. A little late, but still a good chuckle:

He sat on his chair, at his desk in his room,
In the camera he looked, with his face full of gloom.
This wasn't a time of crisis or war.
It was about men stealing, then stealing some more.
"Please forgive me," he said, "I made a mistake"
But the Canucklings all sighed, and said "give us a break".
Their leader went on, like a desperate man would,
To win back respect, he'd say whatever he could.
"I plead and I beg you, please give me more time,
Then you will see, this wasn't my crime."
The Canucklings were stunned, and they listened in shock.
Who was this man, who delivered such schlock?
But their leader went on, he had more to say,
"I ended this program, on my very first day." But how, on his first day,
could he get this thing handled,
When he said all along, he knew not of the scandal?
"The mess was the fault of that guy Jean Poutine,
When he was your leader, the scam was routine.
"I did not know, those men stealing millions,
Millions and millions and zillions and gajillions.
" But the leader back then, ran the Canucklings' finance,
To not know he must have had his head in his pants.
"I had no idea, not even a hunch.
"Then who was that guy, with whom you had lunch?
"The inquiry was called, and it was called for by me,
So let Gomery finish, then you will see.
"If so much as a dollar, has found its own way,
To the Liberal Party, then we will repay.
"But the Canucklings all laughed, and they joked and they sneered,
Their leader was more desperate than they ever feared.
"Don't call an election, I ask you again,
Let me clean this mess up, and you will see then,
"Let Gomery weave his way through this maze,
Then I promise you can vote within 30 days.
"They all laughed so hard, they fell on their backs,
Their leader begged for time to cover his tracks.
"I've done so much," he said, "for whistleblower protection"
But the leader can't make a bullet change its direction.
When he finished his speech, he looked rather sorry,
It was a beautiful sight, if you were a Tory.
Harper said never had he seen a spectacle so sad,
But was it enough to get the Canucklings all mad?
Some of the Canucklings still stood by their leader,
Despite all the claims that he was a cheater.
There were no other leaders, they'd exhausted their search,
And Harper, he scared them, because he went to church.
So they stood by their leader, despite the big scam,
And vowed to forgive, for his part in the plan.
The corruption might come to an end rather soon,
Especially if there's an election in June.
If this story should ever end, and then begin again,
It might well take place in a jail in Shawinigan.
We'll end like George Orwell, if we all had our druthers,
"All pigs are equal, but some are more equal than others."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its outdated. Now he could add:

Martin knew he was lying that day,
He knew that old Gomery had "paragraph K"!

9:02 PM  
Blogger Canadianna said...

That's really clever.

7:39 AM  
Blogger alsocanadian said...

It is clever. Obviously not written by me!
Although...Jeff Morris is also Canadian!

7:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

very clever - I even like the 'pseudo communist animal farm' reference. Gold star for the author.


9:56 AM  
Blogger Expat said...

LMAO! Very well done! :o)

2:06 PM  
Blogger Elijah said...

The gomery scam!

6:38 PM  
Anonymous spookyva said...

Well, I do not really imagine it is likely to have effect.

9:26 AM  

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