Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Public Service Announcement 5

Clearing smog has led to 'global brightening' : The efforts of industrialised nations to cut smog pollution has had a bizarre side effect - accelerating global warming.

New data show that after years of getting smoggier, our skies have become clearer since about 1990. And one effect has been to allow more solar radiation to reach the surface of the Earth.

The Government of Canada will therefore reverse the One-Tonne Challenge - instead of reducing your annual greenhouse gas emissions (GHGs) by one tonne, you are now asked to increase smog by one tonne. The average Canadian produces five tonnes of smog each year so one tonne is only an increase of about 20 per cent.

One tonne sounds like a lot, but think of this: If you drive a car, about half of your total smog likely comes from driving. Avoiding car pooling, public transit and walking will significantly increase your fuel consumption and emissions.

Tire burning is also great way to increase smog production. For Canadians living in northern or coastal regions, tires may not be as abundant. We recommend burning wildlife with a high fat content, such as bears or whales. Polar bears tend to burn best.

If we all work together, by increasing smog Canadians can reduce global warming and look forward to a cooler, smog filled future.

Thank you. (cross posted to The Untrue North)



Blogger Matt said...

Remember to club your seal before throwing it on the BBQ. Otherwise the split like big fat knackwurst sausages. Well, that and they squirm.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm gonna remove the exhaust system from my wife's minivan!
If it works I'll also remove my own...

10:07 AM  
Blogger alsocanadian said...

Yeah, nothing like the throaty rumble of a mufflerless minivan!
Matt, you use wood or aluminum for your clubbing?

10:30 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

I guess this is sort of funny. ha ha ha. Ok, so I have a sense of humour.

Just keep in mind that the story in question says that smog merely "slows," "offsets," or "masks" global warming; it doesn't stop it.

8:16 AM  
Blogger alsocanadian said...

Hey Josh.
If you can't laugh at the destruction of the planet, what can you laugh at?

8:32 AM  
Blogger Matt said...

Although I like the sound of a muted PING! on a baby seal's head, I must confess that I use a cedar bat most of the time; it adds a rich, complex aroma to all my grilled victims.

2:10 PM  

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