Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Latest Internet Threat: The Book Worm

This blog is the latest to be infected with a virulent strain of worm spreading through cyberspace. The "book" worm infects the host computer and lists information regarding the users reading habits. It then replicates itself and sends 5 copies to other machines downline of the host.

It is believed the "Underground Posse of Librarian Hackers" may be responsible for this latest outbreak, and federal officials are closely watching the situation.

My computer virus expert "Tom" has quarantined the following from my harddrive:

1. How many books do you own? Answer: 1 (roomfull)

2. What is the latest book you bought? Answer: The Turkey Hunter's Almanac (hey, I got one!)

3. What is the last book you read? Answer: Duh! The last one I bought!

4. Which 5 books mean a lot to you? Answer: Well, the one below really helped with my personal issues:
.Posted by Hello

The next one, "Clymers Skidoo snowmobile shop manual", really saved my ass last winter,

Number three, "Animal Veterinarian Medicine" saved me a hellovalota money over the years (although my dog now has two heads...)

Number four, the "US Navy SEAL Combat Manual" will come in handy in the future if I keep bloggin the way I am!

And last but not least, Homer. No other texts in the Western imagination occupy as central a position in the self-definition of Western culture as the two epic poems of Homer, the Iliad and the Odyssey . They both concern the great defining moment of Greek culture, the Trojan War. It would not be unfair to regard the Homeric poems as the single most important texts in Greek culture. While the Greeks all gained their collective identity from the Trojan War, that collective identity was concentrated in the values, ethics, and narrative of Homer's epic poems. Just as the Greeks were obsessed about the Trojan War, they were equally obsessed about the Homeric poems, returning to them over and over again, particularly in times of cultural crisis.

Oh yeah, and it's the name of my favorite Simpsons character.

5. Five downline machines: Mitchieville, the Cannuckistan Chronicles, The Maple Lounge, Lunch Pale, and The Blog Quebecois .


Blogger The Mayor said...

Gee, I have to make up 5 books that I've read.

Penthouse letters paperback edition is a book, right?

11:47 PM  
Blogger alsocanadian said...

But Mayor! All those tax law books, town adminisration, archives, and so on and so forth...
BTW send in the Penthouse letters for review, I'll let you know if they count.

11:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Retards for Dummies... Pure genius!!!

Where can I get one?


11:35 AM  
Blogger The Mayor said...

How about I just send you the *Coles* notes on that...I may need to do some further research.

5:23 PM  
Blogger alsocanadian said...

Hey Mayer, I wonder if Hustler is the Coles notes for Penthouse letters...

6:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to

say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


9:39 AM  
Anonymous kittygoespotty said...

Here, I don't really believe this will work.

1:39 PM  

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