Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Back by Popular Demand...

CANADIAN JEDI
You Might Be A Jedi CANADIAN If...
-You are still in the queue for your cyborg hand.
-You keep voting for the evil emperor because "it's better the devil you know".
-Due to budget cuts, your army now consists of Jar Jar Binks and 3 thermal detonators.
-Chewbacca and Han Solo are legally married.
-You got arrested because you forgot to register your light saber.
-You don't have to worry about Jabba the Hut because he died of mad cow disease.
-You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with you, eh."
-You have ever used the force to influence hockey games.
-The majority of your fellow Jedi vote "dark side" (especially the Ontario and Toronto ones).
-You think the ice world of Hoth "ain't so cold".
-You can't actually use you light saber because it has to have a saber lock on it at all times and be locked inside a saber safe with the light in a separate locked receptacle.
-All your spacecraft have all been grounded due to the KYOTO agreement.
-You were refused a position on the Jedi council because weren't fluently bilingual.
-Your Ewoks build dams.
-You believe the Death Star is only destroying planets because of its history of poverty, and if you are nice to it, it will go away.
-All pod racing advertising contracts went to friends of the Emperor.
-You have used your lightsaber as a source of heat.
-You have used your lightsaber to cut the blocks of ice for your igloo.
-You have sliced open a moose to escape the harsh cold of the averageCanadian winter.
-Your lightsaber has a bottle opener on it.
-The storm troopers raiding your home and place of business wear a red serge.
- Princess Leah crossed the floor and joined the dark side.
- You decide to never use the Force in public because some people don't believe in the Force and you don't want to risk offending their unbelief.
- You cheer for the dark side in order to 'bring balance' to the Force.
- You see your role primarily as a peacekeeper between warring, morally equivalent, factions.
- You've ever picked up an OEM equivalent light saber from Canadian Tire.
- You 'pimp' your light saber with Canadian Tire chrome replacement parts.
- You find yourself succumbing to Darth Martin's jedi mind tricks ("You don't want to look into the sponsorship scandal", "I don't want to look into the sponsorship scandal"; "You don't want an election right now", "I don't want an election right now"; "Harper is scary ...").
- Your Death Star garbage ends up in Michigan.
- The Wookiees insist they are a "distinct society" and insist on forcing their impossible language on everyone else.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Robert Phillips said...

I already gave you a vote for most humorous blog, and that one gave you a second. That was brilliant mate, keep up the good work!

11:38 AM  
Blogger Sierra said...

That was terrific.. Had a hard time not laughing in my meeting

2:45 PM  

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