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CANADIAN JEDI

You Might Be A Jedi CANADIAN If...

-You are still in the queue for your cyborg hand.

-You keep voting for the evil emperor because "it's better the devil you know".

-Due to budget cuts, your army now consists of Jar Jar Binks and 3 thermal detonators.

-Chewbacca and Han Solo are legally married.

-You got arrested because you forgot to register your light saber.

-You don't have to worry about Jabba the Hut because he died of mad cow disease.

-You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with you, eh."

-You have ever used the force to influence hockey games.

-The majority of your fellow Jedi vote "dark side" (especially the Ontario and Toronto ones).

-You think the ice world of Hoth "ain't so cold".

-You can't actually use you light saber because it has to have a saber lock on it at all times and be locked inside a saber safe with the light in a separate locked receptacle.

-All your spacecraft have all been grounded due to the KYOTO agreement.

-You were refused a position on the Jedi council because weren't fluently bilingual.

-Your Ewoks build dams.

-You believe the Death Star is only destroying planets because of its history of poverty, and if you are nice to it, it will go away.

-All pod racing advertising contracts went to friends of the Emperor.

-You have used your lightsaber as a source of heat.

-You have used your lightsaber to cut the blocks of ice for your igloo.

-You have sliced open a moose to escape the harsh cold of the averageCanadian winter.

-Your lightsaber has a bottle opener on it.

-The storm troopers raiding your home and place of business wear a red serge.

- Princess Leah crossed the floor and joined the dark side.

- You decide to never use the Force in public because some people don't believe in the Force and you don't want to risk offending their unbelief.

- You cheer for the dark side in order to 'bring balance' to the Force.

- You see your role primarily as a peacekeeper between warring, morally equivalent, factions.

- You've ever picked up an OEM equivalent light saber from Canadian Tire.

- You 'pimp' your light saber with Canadian Tire chrome replacement parts.

- You find yourself succumbing to Darth Martin's jedi mind tricks ("You don't want to look into the sponsorship scandal", "I don't want to look into the sponsorship scandal"; "You don't want an election right now", "I don't want an election right now"; "Harper is scary ...").

- Your Death Star garbage ends up in Michigan.

- The Wookiees insist they are a "distinct society" and insist on forcing their impossible language on everyone else.