Friday, February 25, 2005

How to Destroy the US in 3 Easy Steps...

It is very simple now that:

"Prime Minister Paul Martin announced Canada will not be participating in the U-S missile defence program.
In making his announcement, Martin said his Liberal government's priorities include secure borders, protecting sovereignty in the Arctic and improving the military. "

So now, all you have to do is this:

1-Declare war on Canada. This might be the hardest part, as Canada goes to great lengths to be friends with everybody (except, ironically, the US!).

2-Launch a massive nuclear strike on Canada. This will be very simple, as Canada has no retaliatory capabilities as well as no ballistic missile defence. Ensure you retain enough missiles to threaten the Americans with the "MAD" (mutually assured destruction) scenario to prevent retaliation (they probably wouldn't anyway-we haven't been too neighborly!)

3-Sit back and wait for the jetstream and general southerly windflow , as well as the Atlantic and pacific ocean currents, to deliver the fallout to the US. Ensure enough missiles strike the fault lines on the west coast to trigger the San Andreas fault. A hard strike in Ontario will also shut down much of the US power grid, and poison the great lakes basin water table.

And viola! The States, she's yours! Uhhh... no hard feelins Canada?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oops! might be too late. Think the water tables have already been poisoned: At least 51% of the US population have drunk something tainted. And don't worry about the power grid: What's the use of all the lights on with nobody home??

9:13 PM  
Blogger alsocanadian said...

"At least 51% of the US population have drunk something tainted"

Yeah, American beer! ;)

9:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I'm sitting in the Ft. Lauderdale airport and glad to hear that the Martin government hasn't removed their craniums from their asses! No to missile defense eh? Well, I sure as hell hope that these guys get re-elected!

We have NO military! Does anyone realize this? I guess Mexico could protect us - God knows they're better armed then Canada


11:00 AM  
Blogger alsocanadian said...

Hey, Les!

Glad to hear the evil yanks haven't shipped you to Syria or Guantanimo yet!
Will we get a summary of your infiltration when you get back?

Enjoy the sun.

12:30 PM  
Blogger David Wozney said...

Without missile defence, some alliance of nations, through the use of submarine-launched ballistic missiles (SLBM's), might try to trigger a "mutual assured destruction" nuclear war between North America and another nation.

12:23 PM  
Blogger alsocanadian said...

Good point Dave!
I guess anyone can do whatever they want with us. This country just had a handfull of roofies slipped in our drink...

10:28 PM  
Blogger yochanan said...


beer you will not be needing that anymore and besides Mulson is now owned by coors.

11:51 PM  
Blogger alsocanadian said...

I think everyone has switched to pot now anyways!

10:09 AM  

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