Friday, July 01, 2005

Why the Liberals Hate Alberta: A Canada Day Essay

This is an excerpt from one of the essays Mitchieville has received for their Canada Day competition. It is from a Liberal supporter on the evils of Alberta:

The first evil Christian heteronormative earth-rapists came into the area of Alberta in 1522, spreading disease and stealing valuable artifacts that could prove the land claims of the indigenous Carib, Mohican, and Winnebago. After centuries of ethnic cleansing and air bombardment, the indigenous tribes were made extinct. The evil ones then began to systematically clearcut the lush forests of Alberta, which caused global warming and melted all of the glaciers in Alberta. The seals all died, too. Alberta is now a major cog in the evil plan of large American corporations to destroy the ecosystem of the earth with carbon emissions. Alberta provides a large number of sailors for the whaling fleet, and manufactures specialty clubs for seal killers. When they are home on leave, the brutal sailors of Alberta make a sport of gay bashing, driving gas guzzling SUV’s, and spitting tobacco juice into vegetarian buffets.

Go see the rest of the insanity at Canada Day in Mitchieville!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some how I have the feeling that this was "way over the top" satire.

Anyways, Happy Canada Day, AlsoCanadian.

5:06 PM  
Blogger Candace said...

Here's hoping it is exactly that, since it makes absolutely no sense.

6:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's hoping that Alberta and the West finally and truly SEPARATES from this lethargic nanny socialist country called CANADA... Here's to the Breakup of CANADA

6:54 PM  
Blogger alsocanadian said...

Go to Mitchieville to see the whole thing...

8:09 PM  
Blogger alsocanadian said...

Weshameter...hic...wish you guys...hic...ish makesh perfect...hic...sense ta meeee...

8:11 PM  
Blogger Candace said...


3:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why "FoxSpews" and John Gibson Hate Canada, and Blaghdaddy' Response to them on Canada Day...

Don't miss...and spread the word...John Gibson will rue the day...

8:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought someone had leaked a draft of the Liberal Party manifesto for the next election, when I read it.

I'm sure the Globe and Mail will run it as front page news with a suitable editorial agreeing with every word.

11:13 AM  
Blogger Warwick said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:22 PM  
Blogger Warwick said...

[should have proofed the last post...]

Actually, it's a very funny snipe at the liberal/marxist feminist pseudo-intellectuals who cannibalize the Queen's proper English with idiotic jargon. Oh, and the I mean the Queen in England, not some tyranny in boystown so I guess I'll have to apologize for being "heteronormative"!

No one could use the term "heteronormative" and be taken seriously... I mean really!

12:24 PM  
Blogger alsocanadian said...

Sheesh, Warwick, yud think so!

I liked the "Tranny" one better!

2:01 PM  
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10:30 PM  

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