Monday, July 02, 2007

Happy Canada Day II ...

Happy Day off in lieu of Canada Day because the REAL Canada Day fell on a Sunday and we all know that government employees are so overworked they need as much rest as they can possibly get.

Unlike retail employees who are specifically hired because they have no family and no friends and would never want to celebrate their country on any day let alone Canada Day, and can just darn well have any old day off that the government deems fit to assign to them.

Thank you for shopping here - have a nice day :)

(I'm not even going to comment on those consumers who felt it neccessary to consume on a National Holiday (for everyone except for retail employees - see above)).

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Happy Canada Day 2007!!!

Well, our third IAM(also)CANADIAN Canada day...who wooda thunk it!

Here's an old post to get you in the mood...

“I was a lumberjack, and am a fur trader.
I have slept in an igloo, eaten blubber, and although I don’t own a dog sled, I do have a ski-doo.
I do know Jimmy and Sally, Suzie is my ex, and they’re all assholes.
I have a crooked Prime Minister, not a President; I speak neither English or French properly; and
I don’t pronounce it “about” or “a boot”; I just say “bout”.
I can proudly sew my country’s flag on my backpack, because with the taxes I pay I live out of my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, not policing, even though we got rid of our peacekeepers to buy more police,
Diversity, not assimilation (unless I go to Quebec); and that the beaver tastes like chicken and makes a nice fur coat.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch (where I sleep), and it is pronounced ”Z”, not “zed” or “zee”.
Canada is the second highest taxed landmass, the first nation of bleeding hearts, and coldest part of North America. My name is Joe, and I am also Canadian.”

And howzabout another top Canadian post...CANADIAN JEDI!!!

You Might Be A Jedi CANADIAN If...

-You are still in the queue for your cyborg hand.
-You keep voting for the evil emperor because "it's better the devil you know".
-Due to budget cuts, your army now consists of Jar Jar Binks and 3 thermal detonators.
-Chewbacca and Han Solo are legally married.
-You got arrested because you forgot to register your light saber.
-You don't have to worry about Jabba the Hut because he died of mad cow disease.
-You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with you, eh."
-You have ever used the force to influence hockey games.
-The majority of your fellow Jedi vote "dark side" (especially the Ontario and Toronto ones).
-You think the ice world of Hoth "ain't so cold".
-You can't actually use you light saber because it has to have a saber lock on it at all times and be locked inside a saber safe with the light in a separate locked receptacle.
-All your spacecraft have all been grounded due to the KYOTO agreement.
-You were refused a position on the Jedi council because weren't fluently bilingual.
-Your Ewoks build dams.
-You believe the Death Star is only destroying planets because of its history of poverty, and if you are nice to it, it will go away.
-All pod racing advertising contracts went to friends of the Emperor.
-You have used your lightsaber as a source of heat.
-You have used your lightsaber to cut the blocks of ice for your igloo.
-You have sliced open a moose to escape the harsh cold of the averageCanadian winter.
-Your lightsaber has a bottle opener on it.
-The storm troopers raiding your home and place of business wear a red serge.
- Princess Leah crossed the floor and joined the dark side.
- You decide to never use the Force in public because some people don't believe in the Force and you don't want to risk offending their unbelief.
- You cheer for the dark side in order to 'bring balance' to the Force.
- You see your role primarily as a peacekeeper between warring, morally equivalent, factions.
- You've ever picked up an OEM equivalent light saber from Canadian Tire.
- You 'pimp' your light saber with Canadian Tire chrome replacement parts.
- You find yourself succumbing to Darth Martin's jedi mind tricks ("You don't want to look into the sponsorship scandal", "I don't want to look into the sponsorship scandal"; "You don't want an election right now", "I don't want an election right now"; "Harper is scary ...").
- Your Death Star garbage ends up in Michigan.
- The Wookiees insist they are a "distinct society" and insist on forcing their impossible language on everyone else.

Hope yer feelin more Canadian now! If not, go outside and blockade your laneway...that should do the trick!