Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Paul Martin "Loves" Canada - Part 2

Paul Martin "Loves" Canada

I know sometimes its easy to confuse, more so with the emotionaly stunted, but screwing someone isn't the same as loving them. We have been bent over many times by Paul Martin and his Liberal Government, but love ain't got nothin to do with it.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Live: Parliament Hill Webcam...

Monday, November 28, 2005

The Real Reason Liberal MP Wants to Ban 50 Cent

Liberal MP Dan McTeague has recently been calling on fellow Liberal Joe Volpe, Minister of Immigration, to not give controversial rapper 50 cent a visa into Canada. McTeague claims that the lyrics 50 cent uses in his 'Gangsta' rap incite gun violence. Toronto has found itself mired in gang-related gun violence all year and McTeague believes that a 50 cent concert can only inflame this violence.

Here at AlsoCanadian, we have dug a little deeper and have uncovered the truth behind this attempt to have 50 cent barred from the country. 50 cent actually supports George W. Bush. In an article for mtv, 50 cent expresses his support for the Republican President and thinks the president is "incredible ... a gangsta."

"I wanna meet George Bush, just shake his hand and tell him how much of me I see in him," said Mr. Cent. He then explains that if his felony conviction hadn't prevented him from voting, he would have voted for Bush. I wonder if anyone will have the guts to call 50 Cent an oreo?

h/t nealenews

Friday, November 25, 2005

Harpers Not Scary #26

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Conflict of Interest: The Media and the Liberal Party

I was reading this post by Bob at Let it Bleed about the upcoming election. The post dealt with an article in the Globe and Mail by Jane Taber. I read the article and was quite surprised at how matter of factly this portion was written:

Meanwhile, a lobbyist for a communications company told Ontario Liberal MPs at their caucus meeting yesterday to expect a negative campaign both from the opposition and the news media.

Charles Bird is a lobbyist for Bell Globemedia (owner of The Globe and Mail and CTV) and is the Ontario campaign chairman for the federal Liberals. He told Ontario MPs the electorate is "very volatile" and warned that "it's going to be a very negative campaign."

However, he vowed that Liberals will not be deterred.

"We will give as good as we get," he told MPs, according to an insider.

Does anyone else see the conflict of interest in all this? When Bird says "We will give as good as we get" is he refering to Globemedia as well? Anyone who didn't already question the partisanship of the media, particularly the Globe & Mail and CTV, will now have some solid evidence that the ties between the Liberal party, the Federal Government, and the Canadian media are too close. A democratic society needs the media to be the watchdog of the government, not of the people.

Update: Greg at Political Staples posted on the same topic. I guess I should leave the serious stuff to the smart people. :-p

IAM(also)CANADIAN - Best Humour Blog, Damn Straight!

The CBA awards are now open for voting. We are nominated for Best Humour Blog so go and vote for us!

Please don't let alsocanadian down. Last time we lost one of these things he could barely find the energy to do another Harper Isn't Scary post. You people can't do that to him again, you bastards!!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

The Perfect Storm

Experts predict that there may be a political storm brewing in Canada the likes of which have not been seen in this country for as much as 12 years. There are many complex factors that go into predicting such tumultuous periods in politics, but all the indicators are pointing to the culmination of a perfect storm.

Although storms of this magnitude cannot be predicted exactly, all the signs are pointing to a category 5 ass whopping the likes of which has not been seen since 1993. Grab your hats and nail your courage to the sticking place, its gonna be a slobber-knocker!!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Why Canadians Are So Tired...

(Someone sent me this. It's funny because it's so true...)

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, and too much pressure from my job, ear wax build-up, poorblood or anything else I could think of. Now I've found out the real reason

I'm tired because I'm overworked!

Here's why:

The population of Canada is 30 million. 11 million are retired, that leaves 19 million to do the work.

There are 5.5 million in school, which leaves 13.5 million to do the work.

Of this there are 3 million employed by the federal government, leaving 10.5 million to do the work.

1 million are in the armed forces, preoccupied with killing terrorists, which leaves 9.5 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 7 million people who work for Provincial and city Governments, and that leaves 2.5 million to do the work.

At any given time, there are 476,000 people in hospitals, leaving 2,024,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons and 812,000 on Employment Insurance and Welfare.

That leaves just two people to do the work:

You and me.

And there you are sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.


Real nice.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Its The Economy Stupid!!

Canadians Tired of Taxes

Increasingly, at all levels of government, the taxes we pay are described in terms of the amount it would cost for a cup of coffee. Municipal, provincial, and federal governments have all jumped on this bandwagon. This is an age old marketing ploy used in the commercial sector in order for things to sound less expensive. Think buck-a-day computer purchases, monthly payment plans, and three easy payments of only $29.99.

Even opposition parties are getting in on it. Last spring the Conservatives complained that increases to seniors pensions and the increase to basic personal deductions on income would only net the recipients the amount of 'a cup of coffee a day', or was that a month, I can't remember.

We now see what this over taxation is costing us in our quality of life and overall productivity. A recent study has suggested that 3.3 million Canadians suffer from insomnia, and now we know why. I know I have trouble sleeping when buying over a hundred #$^% cups of coffee every single day!

h/t to Angry for the mug shot.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Harpers Not Scary #25

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Paul Martin: Religiously Challenged

Paul Martin is now grasping for any possible hold he can find on his way down from the Prime Ministers throne. He is quoted in this CTV article "Holiday election may offend religious groups: PM" as saying:

"When you are talking about the holiday season, there are also other religions that have different New Year's at different dates and their holidays at a different date and I think we have to be respectful of that - the orthodox churches, for example," he said.

So apparently not only do we not want to offend Christians on Christmas, the pagan holiday that has become all the rage, but now New Years celebrations are also deemed to be religious holidays? I can tell you I was worhiping on many New Years, but it never had anything to do with religion.

Where was this concern for religion when he was pushing through same-sex marriage legislation? Whether you are for or against, you have to admit that it was offensive to almost every major religion in this country. Where is this concern for offending religious groups around Easter, which is when he has called his little election for? Easter is probably more widely celebrated amongst truly religious Jews and Christians. It's only the Sometimes Sunday Catholics, Commercial Christians, and Agnostic / Atheists (myself included) that worship the Winter Solstice as if its the end all and be all of holidays.

Message to Paul: "Brush up on your own religion and stop making excuses, no one is buying it!!!"

Why No Holiday Election Paul?

Maybe yer afraid of:

Let's get er done! Got my sign all ready:

Get yours here!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

I agree with Joe Clark

Joe Clark was quoted in this article today as saying that none of the leaders of the opposition parties are Prime Minister material. Well for once I am in agreement with Joe Who. I agree that none of the opposition leaders come close to being the archetypal Canadian Prime Minister.

For starters, none of the opposition leaders have stolen money from the people that elected them. The closest we have to that in the opposition is Svend Robinson, and he actually returned everything he stole and he sat out one election.

Secondly, none of the opposition leaders are arrogant, self-aggrandizing asshats. Although Jack Layton does come the closest on that count, no one can compare to the Prime Ministers we have had in the last 35 years or so.

Lastly, none of the opposition leaders has done more damage to the unity of Canada than the current and former PM. Admittedly, Gilles Duceppe does want to take Canada out of Confederation, but the last two PM’s have pushed all regions of Canada to the brink of secession. Alberta wants to separate from Ontario, Quebec wants out of Canada, the rurals want to separate from the cities, and everyone wants to separate from Toronto.

Although there are many other reasons that I didn’t mention, I think Joe is quite accurate in describing the other leaders as not up to the job of Prime Minister. With the previous examples of PM that we have had in this country, this is a huge compliment to those opposition leaders.

All I can add is "Joe, thank god none of them are like you!"

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Our PM...What a Tool!

Here's a photo of our Prime Minister and political party leaders...

Anyone catch the Rick Mercer spot that shows the PM as the "Canadian Tire Guy"?

I wonder if Martin knows what Canadians really feel about "him"?

Martin, we'll "start with you"...

Monday, November 14, 2005

Why Not a Holiday Election?

We now have this...

Friday, November 11, 2005

Harpers Not Scary #24

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Paul Martin Demands More Time

Paul Martin went on the attack today to inform Canadians that the opposition parties will ruin impending breakthroughs in key areas of national interest. The Prime Minister lamented that if the government was brought down three months earlier than the Liberal's own timetable, very important government initiatives would be put in jeopardy.

When asked for further detail the PM explained that the softwood lumber issue was on the verge of being resolved after absolutely no progress in the last few years. "I feel that if we spend those precious three months not calling the Americans or negotiating with them, we will see a major breakthrough on this issue." Paul Martin explained.

Aboriginal issues are also on the agenda during this crucial three month period. After over a hundred years of government mistakes and First Nations communities still living in deplorable situations, the PM suggested that "...with a few more meetings and roundtables, I feel that in the next three months we will find a groundbreaking solution to all these problems."

The Prime Minister pointed out that the Liberals have labored tirelessly over the last 12 years in order to finally see the pinnacle of all their achievements come to fruition in this all-important 3 month period.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Optometrists ARE Terrorists!

As can be seen from the eye chart below discovered in a cave in Hamilton, Ontario Liberal Health Minister George Smitherman may have been correct calling Optometrists "terrorists".

Smitherman identified Optometrists as terrorists because of optometrists suggesting they might withdraw some services due to concerns about fees.

"Smitherman had been speaking about those who would withdraw services from some of the province's most vulnerable" said a Liberal spokesman. (see here)

So, according to this, the Liberals must also believe teachers are terrorists as well (how much more vulnerable can you get-kids!).

Following their own definition, all strikers are "terrorists". Come to think of it, some of those steelworkers have beards that would put Osama to shame...

Monday, November 07, 2005

Registrar of Lobbyists To Get Funding Increase

The Government of Canada has just announced that they will increase funding for the Registrar of Lobbyists in an effort to stamp out the scourge of unregistered Lobbying. This comes on the heals of a recent policy statement by the Prime Ministers Office on the new changes to the definition of 'Lobbyist' and who is now covered by these new rules.

PMO spokesman Scott Reid announced Friday that "...lobbying is defined as trying to influence public policy." Under these new guidelines, currently all non-profit organizations, media groups, publishers, journalists, bloggers, and anyone who discusses politics with their neighbors or at work around the water cooler, will now have to register. Because of this increase to the registry of millions of new lobbyists, the funding must be increased to match.

It is rumored that Earnscliffe Strategy Group will be contracted to coordinate the effort, that Abotech will be hired to set up the computer databases, and that the amount of funding increase for this registry will be well over 2 billion dollars.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Harpers Not Scary #23

Thursday, November 03, 2005

11th Liberal Thrown Out of Party

Paul martin held a press conference today to announce that after further analysis of the Gomery report and with consultation with his Cabinet, another high ranking Liberal insider will be thrown out of the Liberal Party of Canada for life. This member will have to turn in their membership card as of today for his role in adscam as well as other unnamed scandals that have recently rocked the Liberal government.

When asked for comment, the disgraced member's only response was "AWWWWWW, MAAAAAN!!!!"

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

And The Results Are...

According to Liberals:

According to Canadians:

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

PM Manipulates Canadians (again...)

Is it just me, or does anyone else think it's strange The Prime Minister is clowning around prime time on the country's most popular TV show the very eve of the Gomery report release?

Corner Gas is Canada's most popular and most watched TV comedy, with an average
weekly audience of more than 1.5 million.

All the MSM makes a point of saying "Martin taped his Corner Gas appearance earlier this summer in Regina", as if its release tonight is just a coincidence. Don't TV shows have a schedule, knowing which episode air which night? And didn't Martin know which night was the eve of the report?

what's Martin gonna do for the next report? Maybe this: